Spy Drops review for PC, Nintendo Switch

Spy Drops describes itself as being “Inspired by stealth action from the 90’s (sic)”. While this is undeniably true, it’s also not nearly specific enough: Spy Drops is inspired by Metal Gear Solid, to the point that it could probably be described as a clone.

Mind you, calling Spy Drops a clone could potentially give the impression that it’s a well-made copy of a PS1-era classic. This is not the case: it feels more like someone tried to copy a game that was made nearly 30 years ago, but wasn’t talented enough to pull it off. It has a lot of the same features, but none of the quality that made MGS so beloved.

Now, I should probably note here that I didn’t play Metal Gear Solid when it first came out, and when I finally got around to playing it a decade or so later, I can’t say that it clicked with me. On the one hand, this means that I’m not going into Spy Drops with nostalgia goggles and being reminded of a game from my childhood, which would undoubtedly help give me some warm feelings towards the game (or, at least, the idea of the game). At the same time, however, that means that I’m not constantly comparing Spy Drops to an all-time classic, which would hardly be a fair standard.

Of course, it’s hard to imagine any standard by which Spy Drops would seem good or competent.

You discover how cheaply made it is right from the get-go, as a pair of AI voices try – and fail miserably – to tell the game’s story. I can’t say I had strong feelings about AI voice acting going into Spy Drops (beyond the fact that it ruined Duolingo stories), but based on this game, I’m fully on board with any movement to ban it forever. If you’ve ever wanted to hear robotic voices try to banter, here’s your chance, but it all sounds soulless and empty. (To be fair, I’ll note that last week, the studio announced it would be patching in proper voice acting, which may help make the game a little more tolerable.)

It probably doesn’t help that the story is incredibly stupid. You’re tasked with saving the world – or what’s left of it – from eco-terrorists who are trying to get billions in ransom money from oil and gas companies, or else they’ll take out parts of the internet. My impression of Metal Gear games in general is that the plots have always been a bit…labyrinthine, to say the least, but I have to say that putting the main character as a mercenary for oil and gas companies doesn’t exactly make me want to see her succeed.

This might be easy to overlook if the gameplay was any good, but, unsurprisingly, it’s also terrible. Most of the action is from a top-down perspective, yet somehow Spy Drops finds a way to make that painful to use. You can never tell quite where you’re going or where you need to go, and you can’t see the world around you all that well. Just for fun, every so often the game will switch perspectives and ask you to lean around a corner or sneak up on someone, only it doesn’t seem to want to stick with that perspective for too long so it will toggle back and forth between top-down and 3D action, making moving an enormous challenge.

Thankfully (I guess), the terrible camera and incomprehensible map don’t hinder you all that much when it comes to enemies or being stealthy, because all the enemies are idiots (you can literally stomp up to them and start punching them until they collapse, and they usually won’t react quickly enough to respond) and you can basically walk through any door regardless of how many alarms are blaring.

To Spy Drops’ credit, it has one or two neat ideas. It offers procedurally generated levels to pad out the game’s length and make your missions feel more random, which may not help with keeping the story focused but does seem like it could be a fun innovation in more talented hands. (I’ll note that here, most of the missions tend to feel pretty similar.) There’s also a decent array of weapons, which allows you to tackle missions in different ways.

But truthfully, I can’t imagine wanting to tackle Spy Drops missions in any way, let alone playing around with them enough to try different approaches. It’s just a poorly made imitation of a PS1-era classic, and you’d be better off going back and playing Metal Gear Solid than wasting time with this garbage.

Rainy Frog Co. provided us with a Spy Drops PC code for review purposes.

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