I don?t think it?d be possible to go into Waifu Impact expecting it to be good. I mean, if the presence of the word ?Waifu” right there in the title wasn?t enough to tip you off, the fact it?s a game where you play as a girl in a bikini running around shooting other girls in bikinis with a water gun should probably tell you all you need to know.
But even by the incredibly low standards of the genre, Waifu Impact is terrible. There?s no plot here, no convoluted explanation for why any of this is happening: the game just plops you down on a beach and tells you to find 25 stars. Along the way, you get to shoot a water gun, which makes your enemies flail about for a moment or two with some of the ragdoll-iest physics you?ve ever seen, before they explode in a grey cloud. Also, there are platforming sections here and there, except your character can?t jump to save her life.
I know, I?m overthinking why people might be attracted to Waifu Impact in the first place. But even if you?re in that weirdly specific demographic of ?people who really want to see cartoon girls in bikinis but don?t know how to use the internet,” this is still not a good game. The visuals are horrendous: the whole island looks blurry, pop-in is a constant challenge, the camera doesn?t work, and it?s very easy to find yourself stuck inside a rock or underwater if you walk into either of those things at the wrong angle. Also, it?s prone to crashing.
Here?s how bad Waifu Island is: I?d rather play a Senran Kagura game ? and I hate Senran Kagura.
Honestly, there?s nothing redeeming about Waifu Impact. It?s bad, it?s broken, and it?s boring, and there?s no reason whatsoever to play it.
JanduSoft provided us with a Waifu Impact Switch code for review purposes.
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