Timothy vs the Aliens review for Nintendo Switch

I last played Timothy vs the Aliens three years ago when it first came out on PS4. While it was horrible then, I was still keen to check out the Switch version in the hopes the developers had used those extra few years to make the game something worth playing. After all, it had a decent sense of style, and none of the problems I identified back then were absolutely dealbreakers.

To immediately cut short any suspense: the Switch version of this game sucks too.

To be fair, two of the issues I identified with the PS4 version seem to be fixed here on the Switch. First, there?s now a settings menu, which means you can turn up the brightness and you aren?t wandering around in darkness. Second, the music is no longer blaring at the highest volume imaginable. Whatever else is wrong with Timothy vs the Aliens, at least they improved on those two areas.

In every other respect, though, this game is still thoroughly awful. It still has a nonsensical, useless map that contains no waypoints and no identifying landmarks. Getting around is a massive chore, and since pretty much everything looks the same, you still need to pause constantly to confirm you?re still going in the right direction.

Even worse — and the issue that makes Timothy vs the Aliens borderline unplayable — is that it?s still wildly unbalanced. No matter where you go, enemy aliens are spawning constantly, often right next to, in spots where you have no chance to even see them, let alone react. On top of that, since you have very limited health and the game is incredibly stingy with the health top-ups, death happens far too frequently — and not in a ?get good” sense, but rather in a ?this game is totally unfair” kind of way.

And, of course, the game still hasn?t figured out basic math. You start off with a gun that can hold six bullets. Even the most basic enemies take at least three bullets to kill, and the aliens almost always come at you in groups of four or more. Oh, and reloading takes forever, which means that you spend a lot of time running backwards — and, of course, hoping more aliens don?t suddenly pop into being right behind you.

Obviously, none of this should be a surprise. Timothy vs the Aliens was awful when it came out on PS4, and it?s awful now that it?s on the Switch for almost all the same reasons. It may be a little brighter and easier on the ears, but the fact remains everything else here still stinks.

Wild Sphere provided us with a Timothy vs the Aliens Switch code for review purposes.